This post is also available in: Nederlands (Dutch)

In September 2016 I found out that I was pregnant.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

And after this first reaction we just did three more tests to recover from this shock. But after these first four reactions, the question rose: how does this work in South Africa? Luckily I did not need to wait long for an answer!

First, Your regular checks up are not done by a midwife but a gynaecologist. At the first appointment with the gynaecologist she asks right away whether I already know if I want a caesarean section or would prefer a vaginal birth? That word alone … Vaginal. That’s gonna hurt. I just got used to the idea and now I need to think about what awaits me in a few months? I am actually still a bit in denial. I must confess: both choices do not sound appealing – is there no stork that I can order?

I must say, it is a lot of fun to visit the gynaecologist every few weeks because you can follow the development of your baby very nicely via the scan. At 30 weeks they will make a 4d scan for you. Also nice! However, you have to pay every time so all in all it becomes quite an expensive experience. Not in the least because our gynaecologist has apparently often looked at the L’Oréal advertisement ‘because you’re worth it’. Instead of the normal standard rate, she asked 4x as much. Well, you work in the private sector or not. And you do have shiny hair or not …

What I really liked, and probably that’s the same in the Netherlands, is that you have classes for pregnant women everywhere. You can go to Mama Yoga, Preggiebellies gym, swimming for preggies, etc. During my pregnancy I was fitter than without a baby in my tummy. Well, almost then. Because the 4 kilos that I had to carry with me ensured that my sport performances remained somewhat behind despite all the effort.

After 40 weeks there was still no baby. And where in the Netherlands, you get two weeks after due date, they do not want to take that risk in South Africa and so we made an appointment to induce. At 5 o’clock in the morning we were expected at the hospital and it turned out that we were not the only ones. Three or four other women were also induced that day. While I installed myself in my room, the midwife comes in. When do I want to have my epidural? When I tell her that I want to start without, she says ‘are you sure, we can start with the nitrous oxide already’. Hmm … So the question is not whether you want pain relief, but when do you want to receive it?

During the day the gynaecologist came by a few times to check on me. I do not know how familiar you are with the series Friends? The one where Rachel is late? Where she is waiting until she can go to the delivery room and all other women, who came in later, are all allowed to go before her. And that she gets angry and wants to know when it’s finally her turn? Well, that feeling… At half past five in the afternoon I heard the first baby crying and then it did not take long before number 2 and 3 were born and I was still waiting for the contractions to come. Patience is a virtue.

To keep a long story short … It became an emergency caesarean section. At the end of surgery, the gynaecologist says she is almost done and she is closing the wound. ‘I know, I can see the smoke’. The skin is being cauterized, so you can see the smoke plumes move up. That’s when my gynaecologist, a lovely woman by the way, says: ‘Yes, lekker braaien!’

Only in South Africa!